Get tips from the trenches with this information-packed blog from the authors of The Rookie Mom’s Handbook and Stuff Every Mom Should Know, Heather Flett and Whitney Moss.

On Becoming My Mother (and Not Minding One Bit)

Helping Hands grandma-swaddle
Rookie Moms

I think about my mom constantly, not just when I see ads for Mother’s Day promotions. I think about the age she was as she mothered me and how it compares to the age I am as I go through it (about ten years older). I think about how technology impacts my parenting and social life — how did she manage to breastfeed without email to read on her phone? Or crowd-source parenting advice from friends on Facebook? I think about all the things she let me do by myself as I grew up and wonder if I’ll be able to foster the same independence for my children, or if my fear of the world’s dangers will squash those opportunities.

Share This Story

Mostly though, I think about how much I appreciate her now that I’m a mother.

Last night, my daughter required four bedside visits from parents as she cried about an earache on and off between 8pm and 7am. “Did I sleep-deprive my own mother this much?” I wondered as I sat patting her back from 4.30 to 5am.

I remember her rubbing my back for hours, always being there when I was sick, and never saying, “Don’t be sick, I have to go to work!” which is what I am thinking so much of the time. She must have taken hours, days, weeks off work when I had a doctor’s appointment, illness, or more serious incident. I never considered that she was needed elsewhere.

This is us circa 1978.

Now, I’m becoming her. Paying to have my grey hair hidden; saying, “You have to eat something that grew out of the ground,” at every meal.

I look in the mirror and see her. I see hours of caregiving that were invisible to me at the time. I see a fridge full of food that I now know did not magically stock itself. I see books and toys and birthday parties and gymnastics classes all designed to support a happy and healthy childhood, and I know now how much planning it takes to acquire those things (Funny, you still can’t order gymnastics classes on Amazon. For now.)

And I remember her leaning into the mirror in our bathroom when I was a girl and announcing, “I am becoming my mother!”

Are you becoming your mother?

About Whitney

After becoming a mom, Whitney Moss joined forces with her BFF Heather Flett and they began writing down hundreds ideas for fun things to do – with babies in tow. The result was their book, "The Rookie Mom's Handbook: 250 Activities To Do With (and Without!) Your Baby" and website, RookieMoms.com, which has been on babble.com's list of Top 50 Mom Blogs twice.

Let's Hear It!

What ways do you find yourself taking after your mother?

Post a Comment